Vacation Realization
What small or profound thought came your way today?
Vacation Realization
The end began on the slow walk back to our rental when we stopped for those two scoops of ice cream from Mad Martha’s. It was even more clear when we got back to the house and plunked ourselves down on a couch in the coolest part of the house to pull up a Sunday New York Times crossword from 2019, and you were so tired that you slurred your words when you told me you hadn’t figured out the trick yet. I wanted to win as badly as ever, but couldn’t tell what I had wrong as I yawned like a lion and in the end the ice cream and the puzzle beat us both. I left you to stretch out on that couch and found myself another one, one so small I had to drape my legs over the arm rest. But I slept anyway and woke to myself snoring and one hand half asleep. I gazed around at books and chairs and photographs that are not ours and my mind was still. I then had the thought that I’m a speck on a spinning rock in a galaxy and there’s really nothing I can do to change any of this, and that being old, with my affairs in order, and the people I love knowing I love them, that perhaps if it all ended today this wouldn’t be a bad way to go – comatose from ice cream on someone else’s couch.
I Told You Mine, Now You Tell Me Yours
What small or profound thought came your way today?
xo
I came to the realization that I have completely outgrown this life I’m living. Outgrown the people and circumstances. I want new, better, kinder and more peaceful. I want new experiences and lessons to learn from and I yearn deeply for everything to change.
As I walked down from my office where my son was finishing the install of a second screen for my computer (to help with a small editing project) I realized both my kids (ages 27 and 24) are quietly moving into the roll of helping me like they've been waiting for their time to do that - and I will always be okay because of that shift. Same thing happened when my driving foot broke this spring only I didn't realize that shift because I was asking for help. Today, help showed up without the ask and that opened my eyes. Very comforting.